DOOM and Stuff
by Dokkou
Summary: After Dib ruins yet another of Zim's evil plans, Zim returns to his house to recover. But because of a malfunction courtesy of Gir, Zim ends up losing more than his fight with Dib... he loses his memory! But will Zim re-become the invader he once was?
1. Chapter 1

**Dokkou:** Yaaay!! My very first Invader Zim fanfic! This idea has been poking me, prodding me, annoying me, yelling at me and basically invading every fiber of my being. So i finally gave in and began this story. Hope you like this chapter.

* * *

DOOM and Stuff

Chapter 1

Zim chuckled evilly as he tapped the coordinates into the computer's control panel.

"Coordinates locked," The computer announced and Zim let out his insane laugh.

"Soon all the filth-humans will be under my grip like icky zombie… human... zombie things!" Zim said triumphantly.

"Yaaaaaaay!!" Gir squealed and Zim looked up and screamed.

"GIR! What ARE you doing?!" Zim shouted. The tiny SIR unit was swinging on a giant wire like a jungle vine twenty feet overhead.

"I'M TARIZAAAAAAN!!" Gir squealed happily.

"Get down from there! You'll ruin everything!" Zim shouted angrily.

"OOOOOKIE DOKIE!" Gir said and promptly let go of the vine. Zim yelled and turned to jump out of the way but he was too late. The SIR unit dropped right on top of the Irken Invader and pinned him to the floor.

"GIR GET OFF!" Zim shouted. "You're going to crush my suit!" Zim tossed Gir off of him and quickly scanned his suit for any damage. Thankfully there was none. Zim let out a sigh of relief which immediately turned into an evil cackle. The suit was skintight, purple, and covered in small buttons and monitors.

The alien invaders were in an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of the city by a dirty river. But instead of dust and useless products the warehouse was filled with complicated looking machinery, computers, and flashing buttons. Wires carpeted the floor and in the center of the giant warehouse was a ten-foot high platform on which sat a giant blue oval, a computer monitor and, of course, Zim.

"Begin countdown!" Zim ordered.

"Countdown initiated," The computer voice said solemnly. A giant timer appeared on the screen. "Four minutes in counting. 3:59…3:58…3:57…" Zim rubbed his three-fingered hands together eagerly.

"Ohhh, victory is so close, I can taste it!!" Zim laughed. He blinked and stuck his pointed tongue out. "Hm… tastes like the waffles I had this morning…"

"Not so fast, Zim!" a familiar voice shouted.

"No, it can't be," Zim snarled, whirling around. From his lofty position on the platform, he saw a boy in a black coat and glasses race past the towering electric equipment. The boy took a flying leap and heaved himself onto the platform.

"Dib," Zim hissed furiously.

"It's over Zim!" Dib shouted. "I know all about your evil plan!"

"Oh really?" Zim sneered. "And what is my evil plan?"

Dib opened his mouth and pointed accusingly at Zim. There was a long second of silence. "It's…evil! And… it's a plan… a plan to!... do something to all humanity!" Dib said weakly.

"Curse you!" Zim yelled, flexing his fingers. "I had not counted on you discovering my bomb so quickly."

"BOMB?!" Dib screamed. "YOU'VE GOT A BOMB?!"

"Of course, Dib-monkey!" Zim said triumphantly. "A bio-bomb to be exact." He pointed at the countdown on the giant monitor behind him. "In two minutes and thirty-five seconds, this bomb will go off—" he waved at the giant blue oval in the middle of the floor— "and seize the brainwaves of all living organisms within a fifty-mile diameter! They will become my mindless slaves! And I'm so glad you could make it, earth-monster, because you will become my very first slave!" Zim burst into maniacal laughter. Dib bit his lip and stared at the bomb. Then he let out a bark of smug laughter.

"One problem, Zim!" he said, holding up a finger. "If that bomb goes off, you'll be brainwashed along with me!"

"Not so, Dib monkey!" Zim shouted. "You see this suit I'm wearing?" He tapped his head, which was covered in what seemed to be clear plastic wrap—"This suit will protect me from every single wave, allowing me to emerge victorious and rule over your drooling zombie race!" Dib grit his teeth. "Just sit back and relax, human," Zim smirked. "Maybe if I'm in a good mood I'll let you live and clean the floor of my ship with your tongue." He turned back to the control panel, his finger hovering over a huge red button.

"Not if I can help it, alien scum!" Dib shouted, and raced forward and tackled Zim to the ground. He grabbed Zim's antenna and began to pull.

"AAAGH!!" Zim screamed. "Release me, Dib worm! Release me or face the wrath of ZIM!!"

"Not a chance," Dib snarled, shoving Zim's head into the ground. With a growl the irken rolled and kicked Dib in the ribs. Dib went flying back, breathless. Zim hurried forward, finger reaching for the red button. But Dib lunged and grabbed his ankles, causing the alien to fall smack on his face. Zim strained his hand toward the monitor but Dib jerked him back and slapped his hand down.

"2:15…2:14…2:13…" the computer's voice counted down. Zim grabbed Dib's shoulders and rolled so that he was pinning the human down.

"Face it_ Dib_, you might as well give up now! There's nothing you can do!" Zim said with an evil grin.

"That's what you think, Zim!" Dib pushed and rolled so that he was pinning the alien down again. Zim growled and the two wrestled on the floor with snarls and yells, bathed in the red light from the computer monitor.

"Oooh, pretty lights," Gir said, once again hanging from the giant cord like 'Tarizan'.

"GIR!" Zim shouted as Dib pulled his antenna. "Press the button! Hurry! We can't afford to waste any more time! Press the pretty button Gir!"

"Wheeeeee!" Gir squealed, sliding down the wire to the monitor.

"Bad move, Zim!" Dib snapped, wrapping his hand around a tiny metal accessory on Zim's arm. He clenched his teeth and began to pull as hard as he could.

"AAGH! What are you doing?!" Zim yelled in horror as sparks flew from his arm.

"Putting an end to your plan!" Dib snarled, and ripped the box off with a burst of wires and sparks. Zim screamed and clutched his arm, the green flesh of which was now exposed.

"There!" Dib said triumphantly, jumping to his feet. "If you set off that bomb you'll be brainwashed too!"

"CURSE YOU!!" Zim screeched.

"1:30…1:29..1:28…" the computer went on, oblivious to the struggle that was going on in front of it.

Stop the countdown Zim!" Dib shouted. Zim opened his mouth to snarl at Dib when Gir's happy voice floated down to them.

"Master, master, look at me!" Gir said, waving happily at Zim. His tiny hand was raised, about to slam down on a blue button.

"NO GIR NO!" Zim shouted, jumping up. "Don't press any buttons!"

"Press any button?" Gir repeated with a huge smile. "Okie dokie! I like this one!" His hand descended down onto the button.

"NOOOOOO!" Zim and Dib screamed together.

_Click_.

* * *

Gaz didn't even look up from her Game Slave as an explosion sounded outside and rocked the house.

"Dib," she growled and continued playing her Game Slave 2 on the sofa in front of the giant TV. For about fifteen minutes there was peace in the living room. Then…

_Creeeaaak._ The front door was weakly pushed open to reveal Dib, covered in ash, his glasses cracked, smoke leaking off his body.

"Another evil plot…thwarted thanks... to me," he said faintly.

"Close the door, you're letting in a draft," Gaz growled. Dib painfully closed the front door and dragged himself to the sofa. He collapsed onto the cushion beside Gaz.

"Phew, we're just lucky that robot pushed the self-destruct button," Dib sighed. "Otherwise we'd all be brainless zombies! Well, at least Zim would be a brainless zombie too."

"Be quiet," Gaz hissed, grinding her teeth. "I'm at level thirteen and I'm trying to concentrate."

"You obviously don't care that your brother saved the human race yet again," Dib sniffed. Gaz's eye twitched and she shoved Dib off the couch with one hand.

"Ow!" Dib said as his face was planted into the carpet. He shakily got to his feet and dusted himself off. "I should report to the Swollen Eyeball. They'll want to hear about this!" he dragged himself to his room as fast as his limp would allow.

* * *

Zim groaned as he stumbled tiredly past his lawn gnomes. He was smoking all over. Gir was clutched in his hand, being dragged along behind the alien like a rag doll. His normally turquoise eyes were black; he was offline.

"Stupid… Dib human," Zim mumbled, pushing the front door open. Right on cue, two tall robots blocked his way.

"Welcome home, son!" They chorused, then both wheeled off back to the cubby where they normally hibernated.

Gir fell out of Zim's limp hand. Zim didn't seem to notice. He heaved himself onto his couch and lay down, staring up at the ceiling. Zim winced as a twinge of pain lanced across his burned wrist, where Dib had destroyed his suit. His back was hurting too.

"Stupid suit," Zim growled and tore violently at the fabric. "I should have reinforced it!" he jerked his armguards off. "I should have seen the Dib worm coming!" he kicked the heavy metal boots off. "I should have had a plan B…" he ripped the chestplate off and threw it on the floor, panting. He was back in his red suit, which was charred and ripped. "I was so close," Zim hissed, clenching his fists. "So close! I could taste the waffle-flavored taste of victory! RRR!!" Zim began to pummel the cushions of the sofa with his small fists. And he would have to go to skool tomorrow and face that stupid Dib human's grinning face _all day long_!

Zim wailed and fell back on the couch. He turned his head and looked tiredly at Gir's offline form.

_Should I even bother fixing him? He just ruined my whole plan. Well… not the whole plan. It wasn't really his fault the Dib monkey destroyed my suit… and he did sort of follow my orders… I told him to press the button and he did…well he didn't press the right one but still…_

Zim sighed and slid off the couch. He picked up Gir's metal body and heavily walked into the kitchen. He stepped into the toilet against the wall and said tiredly, "Computer. Take me down to the lab." There was a complying beep and Zim descended into the toilet bowl which immediately became a red elevator tube. A minute later, the Irken invader was entering his dark lab. He placed Gir on a metal table and plugged a bunch of wires into the robot's head. He tapped several buttons on a computer console.

"Energize," Zim ordered. A bolt of blue energy ran down the wires and shocked Gir. The robot jerked violently and sat up.

"I'm a Frankenweiner!" Gir squealed happily.

"No, you're stupid," Zim growled. "You messed up my plan!"

Gir bowed his head in shame. "I'm sorry, Master," he mumbled miserably. Then… "HAVE SOME GRAVY! It'll make everything all better!" Gir reached into his chest compartment and pulled out a handful of dark brown mess.

Zim's red eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened.

A minute later Gir sailed up out of the toilet in the kitchen and landed in the sink with a loud metallic GOOOOONG. "YAAAAY!! BATHTIME!"

* * *

Back in the lab, Zim flinched when a spasm of pain went across his back. Zim glanced over his shoulder and let out a gasp. Sparks and a black liquid were falling from a large gash in his Pak. Zim pressed a button on the Pak and it popped off. He swayed dizzily and set the Pak on the lab table. He would have to move fast: Irkens didn't survive long without this tiny machine.

"Curses," he muttered. "It must have been damaged in the explosion." He reached a hand toward his Pak. Electric currents crackled and bit at his hand. Zim jerked his hand back and hugged it to his chest.

"Rrrrgh," He grumbled. "It will have to be fixed by the computer." He raised his voice. "Computer. Repair subject Pak."

"Beginning diagnostic," the computer voice said. "Diagnostic complete. Beginning subject Pak repair." Three robotic arms descended from the ceiling and began working on Zim's Pak.

"Good," Zim said. "In the meantime, I'm going to rest in the Recuperation Pod." The injuries he had sustained were bordering on critical. He padded over to a tall, oval-shaped glass machine standing against a wall. He pressed a button on the side of the pod and a glass door opened vertically with a hiss. Mist floated out of the container. Zim stepped inside and faced the lab. The glass door closed in front of him. Metal bands came out of the pod behind Zim and held him securely against the wall. The pod was one of the most important thing in his lab; as long as he was submerged in healing fluid and in a hibernation state he would be able to survive for several hours without the aid of his Pak. It came in real handy for whenever he finished a fight with Dib that usually ended up destroying half a city block.

"Computer, wake me at seven tomorrow morning," Zim ordered.

"Yes master," the computer voice said. A mask descended from the ceiling inside the pod and latched onto Zim's face. A hole in the wall opened and a green liquid began pouring inside. The Irken closed his eyes and sighed in relief as the cool healing liquid engulfed his body. In a minute the pod was full. Zim felt a gentle darkness fill his mind and slipped away into a peaceful hibernation.

His last thought was, _At least Dib got injuries too_.

* * *

"Doo de doo de doo de doo doo dooooo!" Gir sang, splashing in the water in the sink. But seeing as the gravy had fallen into the water, Gir was actually bathing in mashed-potato-topping. "Squeaky clean!" Gir said happily. He reached into the brown muck and felt for the drain plug. He felt it and jerked. It didn't come loose. Gir jerked again but still nothing happened. He frowned and ducked his head under the swirling brown surface.

The thing he was trying to pull up was a flashing red button. Of course there's no real sink in an alien's house but sadly Gir's paperclip-and-gum-filled brain couldn't comprehend that.

"Bad sink!" he said with a frown, and hit the "drain plug". There was a resounding alarm bell around the kitchen.

"Error! Error!" the computer voice said. "Error! Error!"

"Oooh! That's a pretty song!" Gir said happily, clapping along to the rhythm. "Error! Error! Doo de doo de doooo!"

* * *

Down in the lab, a red button flashed warningly on the computer's console. The robotic arms hovering above Zim's Pak jerked to a halt and began spinning around wildly.

"Error! Error!" the computer voice said in confusion. "Error ERROR!!" The robotic arms straightened and began to fervently work on the Pak again, sparks flying off in all directions.

Within the pod, Zim's green eyelids flickered but he slept soundly on, undisturbed by the frantic alarm.

* * *

**Dokkou:** Uh oh. Now what did Gir do? Guess you'll find out next chapter, which will be posted next Friday.

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	2. Lost Memories

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Dokkou: Okay, here's chapter two. Short but sour. I mean sweet.

I got several reviews reminding me that Zim doesn't sleep and that he can't survive without his Pak for longer than ten minutes. I KNOW. The pod that Zim is in is special. It is filled with a healing liquid that sustains Zim even when he's not wearing his Pak, and it puts him to sleep so that he will heal faster. Capish? After all, how else does Zim recover so quickly after being caught up in his miserable plans when they explode on him?

Anyway... chapter two.

* * *

Lost Memories

"COCK A DOODLE DOO!" The computer's voice said, attempting a rooster's crow. But it literally said 'cock a doodle doo'.

"COCK A DOODLE DOO! This is your wake-up call, Master." A loud beep resounded around the lab and the green liquid within the pod drained out. The metal bands securing Zim against the wall retreated back and the irken dropped, swaying, to his feet. He cracked his eyes open and heavily pushed the mask off his face. Odd… he still felt tired. And sore.

He pushed the glass door of the pod open and stepped into the world of blinking lights. He groaned and leaned against the table. He hardly felt better than he had yesterday! Why was that? Maybe the pod had malfunctioned.

Zim reached into his pockets and reluctantly put in his contact lenses and black wig. He hated his costume—it was all itchy and stuff.

A red button on the giant computer monitor beeped.

"Subject Pak repair is complete," The computer said. Zim looked around at his Pak on the lab table. He grinned. At least one thing was going right.

"Excellent," he said, picking the tiny machine up. He walked over and stepped onto a small circular platform. "Computer, take me up to the kitchen," the Irkin ordered.

"Yes Sir," the computer obliged, and the platform with Zim on it ascended through the ceiling. A second later, Zim popped out of the toilet in the kitchen. He hopped down and headed into the living room.

Gir was sitting on the sofa in his doggy suit watching TV. Zim glanced at the screen and shuddered when he saw that creepy crazy monkey.

"Gir, I don't know how you can stand that earth monkey," Zim said in disgust. He moved his Pak around and pushed it to his back. "TV is bad for you," he went on as the wires from the Pak connected to his back. "Then again your brain can't possibly rot any—" He broke off as sparks and blue electrical currents flew off the tiny machine behind him. "What the—" was all he managed to say before blue electricity jolted through his body and bolted off around the room. Zim's whole body lit up with the energy and he screamed in agony as he lost all control of his limbs. Gir watched his master writhing on the floor with a surprised look. Flashes of memories and emotions zoomed through the Irken's mind at a torturous rate:

_"You're very small Zim—"_

_"Please, My Tallest, Give me a chance to—"_

_"HI COW!"_

_"No invader has ever been so very small—"_

Zim screeched and clutched his head in pain. The images were moving faster than he could process. "STOP IT!! STOP IT, STOP IT!!"

_"I know who you are, Zim—"_

_"The world will eventually implode—"_

_"I'll get you someday, Zim! Maybe not today—"_

"BE QUIET!" Zim screamed, curling into a ball as the world dissolved into a black void around him. "GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" He convulsed one more time and then the blue energy disappeared. The Irken fell to the floor, eyes wide and blank with horror. Blue electric pulses occasionally buzzed across his body.

"Master?" Gir said, cocking his head. There was no answer. Gir hopped off the sofa and leaned over his master. "Master?" he repeated, poking Zim's arm. Then he let out a happy squeal. "ARE WE PLAYING THE SLEEPY GAME?! YAAAAY!!" He danced around for a minute. Then he looked back at Zim and blinked. "Wake up, Master, you have to go to the happy kid place today!" The robot got no reply. He frowned, feeling a tiny spark of worry. "Wake up. Master?..." A horrible thought suddenly occurred to the tiny android. Gir whimpered and began to run around screaming.

"MASTER IS DEAD!! MASTER IS DEAD!!" he wailed.

* * *

Zim moaned and forced his eyes open. He blinked upon seeing that the world was sideways. There was a screeching noise in the background. Zim lifted his head and immediately realized that he had just been lying down. He shakily pushed himself to his feet.

"Ugh, what hit me?" he mumbled. Then his eyes widened when he saw a weird green dog running frantically around the room, yapping its giant head off.

Zim blinked. Green?! What dog was green?

"Hey, little guy," Zim said, attempting a gentle voice, "Calm down, it's okay." He reached out and grabbed the dog.

"No it's not!!" The dog wailed. Zim cried out and fell backward. It could talk?! "Master is sleeping!" The dog sobbed. "Master is sleeping! He won't wake up!"

"Um," Zim said hesitantly, "Well maybe he's just… tired?"

"No no no!!" Gir wailed, pounding his tiny paws on the floor. "Master not good! MASTER NOT GOOD!" Zim tapped his fingers together uncomfortably as he looked around.

"Er, I don't see anyone here but us," he said to the dog, but he was staring at the room around him. It was the weirdest room he'd ever been in. The ceiling was covered with wires and there was a picture of a large, green and very creepy monkey hanging above the sofa.

"Where on earth am I?" Zim wondered out loud. Suddenly the dog's wailing stopped. Zim looked around then his vision was completely obscured by a green body. He yelled as he was tackled to the ground.

"Master!" Gir squealed joyously, licking Zim's face. "You're wakey wakey!"

"AGH! Get off! I'm not your master!" Zim cried, trying to avoid the slobbery tongue. "I don't even know who you are!" The dog stood rigidly and saluted, its eyes glowing red.

"Gir reporting for duty," it said in a deep, formal voice.

"Gir?" Zim repeated. "Is that your name?" The dog's eyes turned back to normal.

"MAYBE!" Gir screeched.

"This place is weird," Zim muttered, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. "I'm out of here. Oh wait… wasn't there somewhere I was supposed to go?" He put a finger to his mouth with a thoughtful frown. "Oh now I remember! Skool!" He walked toward the door and pushed it open to reveal a lawn covered in creepy little gnomes. As one, the gnomes suddenly turned their heads and stared at Zim. Zim swallowed and slammed the door shut.

"Gir!" he said in a high-pitched voice. "There are—there are—there are zombie gnomes out there!"

"YAAAAAY!" Gir squealed.

"No, that's bad!" Zim cried.

"Aw," Gir said in disappointment.

Zim peeked through the blinds at the gnomes. "Maybe they're robots or something."

"ROBOT! LIKE MEEEEE!" Gir said.

"Don't be silly," Zim said looking around. "You're not a ro—" He broke off with a choking noise.

A tiny silver and blue robot was standing in the middle of the room. Crumpled around it was the dog's skin. Zim's mouth fell open and his eyes popped. The robot stared back at him with blank blue eyes, unnaturally still. Then it waved cheerfully.

"HIIIIII!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Zim screamed. He ripped the front door open and ran, still screaming his head off, past the watching lawn gnomes into the street. People looked up from their various businesses and watched the little green kid curiously.

_Weirdo,_ they thought, then went back to what they were doing.

Zim ran for almost five minutes before finally collapsing, exhausted, against a tree several blocks away.

"What is going on?!" Zim panted. "Was that some sort of fun house?! Because it wasn't very fun!!" He wiped his forehead and stood up. "Maybe someone at skool can help me!" and he was off again like a bullet.

* * *

Dib sat at his desk, fingers tapping together, his face dark.

"Poor Zim," he smirked. "You might as well leave Earth! As long as I'm around, none of your evil plans will ever succeed. And if you stay, someday I'm going to finish you off… permanently!" he let out an evil cackle and a tube of glue smacked into the back of his head.

"Shut up, weirdo!" the purple-haired girl behind him screeched. Dib rubbed his head moodily.

The door burst open so hard it bounced back against the wall. Zim ran inside, breathing hard as though he'd just sprinted a marathon.

"Please," he gasped, "Someone help me! There's a crazy house full of robots and freaky lawn gnomes that move and a dog-eating android that likes gravy and—"

"Zim!" A familiar hiss sounded out. A black figure reared up behind the Irken. Zim craned his head back and found himself staring into Ms. Bitters's growling face. "You're late again, Zim," the dark teacher spat.

"But—the gnomes!" Zim cried.

"Not another word! Get to your desk!" Ms. Bitters said, snapping her finger around at Zim's isolated desk. Zim's shoulders slumped and he seated himself in the green desk. Ms. Bitters sank into the floor and reappeared in her chair.

"Today's lecture," she growled, "is about how the world will implode in upon itself and destroy all life on Earth. It will probably happen during your life time so don't bother trying to get ahead in life because you're all going to die horrible flaming deaths!" Her lecture began and Zim found himself sliding down boredly in his seat, his fear of the house slipping away. Ms. Bitters' voice did that sometimes.

A paper ball suddenly hit his head.

"Hey!" Zim looked around and frowned at Dib, who was smirking. Zim un-crumpled the paper ball to reveal a crude drawing of himself on a lab table with his guts falling out. There were little X's in his eyes and words scrawled at the top of the page saying, "Someday, alien scum."

Zim looked around at Dib, twitching. Dib's evil smile widened and he ran a finger across his throat with a "Kkkch" noise.

"Freak," Zim muttered, ripping the paper up.

* * *

Mercifully the bell rang, signaling the start of lunch. Dib was the first out the door.

_He's weird_, Zim thought as he followed the crowd to the lunch room. _What's his name again?... oh right! Dib. Hm…I don't like Dib._

Zim stepped into the lunch room and froze.

Facing him about ten feet away was Dib, hands on hips, evil smile on face. Zim swallowed.

_I have a bad feeling about this._

He sidestepped into the line for the cafeteria food, all the while feeling Dib's eyes on the back of his head. Zim blinked when a blob of gray stuff was dumped on his plate. He shuddered and sat at an empty table in the corner of the lunchroom. Zim picked up his fork and poked at the gray matter. He drew back in terror when it jiggled and growled. He pushed the tray away, looking sick.

"Not hungry _again_, Zim?" A horribly familiar voice said behind Zim. The irken braced himself and looked over his shoulder. As expected, there was Dib, scowling at him, hands on hips.

"What freak of nature would even eat this stuff?" Zim retorted, throwing his fork at the gray stuff. It was absorbed into the blob and disappeared. "I think it's still alive."

"Maybe that's why they call it Mystery Meat," Dib shrugged. Then he smirked nastily. "So, got any other evil plans I should know about? I can't wait to ruin them the way I ruined yesterday's plan."

"What plan?" Zim said with a blink.

"Oh no, don't play innocent, Zim," Dib hissed, putting his face menacingly close to the alien's. "I'm not going to let you just forget about your humiliation yesterday. I'm going to torture you with it until the day I die. In fact, maybe I'll come back as a ghost and keep haunting you!... ... ooooh, that would be cool."

Zim slid back on the plastic bench away from Dib.

"You're crazy," he said uneasily.

"Quit the act, Zim!" Dib snapped. "You haven't fooled me for a second since you came to this planet! You won't start now!"

Something in the Irken suddenly snapped.

"Get away from me!" Zim yelled. He picked up his tray and slammed it--gray blob and all--right into Dib's face. It stuck there like it was glued. The cafeteria fell silent and the students all stared at them. Zim blinked.

Dib slowly reached up a hand and pulled the tray off. The gray food stretched like cheese on pizza before finally breaking with a snap. The human boy's face was furious.

"Alright Zim, you wanna play games?" he hissed. "Well fine." He grabbed a handful of mashed potatoes--or something that looked slightly similar to mashed potatoes-- off a nearby kid's plate and flung it at Zim. The irken screamed and ducked, and the mashed potato ball soared and hit a large brawny kid in the back of the head.

"FOOD FIGHT!!" A girl screeched, and a second later, the cafeteria "food" was sailing in all directions through the air. The children's screams soon filled the room. Within seconds, food coated the windows and walls.

"ZIM!!" Dib screamed angrily before a handful of creamed corn hit him in the face. Zim jumped past him and ran for the door at the other end of the cafeteria. He ducked and dodged the various food missiles flying through the air.

"This whole place is insane," he panted, a chicken drumstick missing his head by inches. "Have to get out!"

"Heads up!" A voice screeched, and Zim looked around just in time to see a piece of meat smack into the side of his head.

"Eeeew," he said, pulling a face. A second later, he blinked when a burning sensation crept over his head. "Hm," he frowned, "What is--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" He clawed at the piece of meat, which was smoking and burning as though it was on fire. He flung it on the floor and clutched his head, which was still hurting terribly. "What was that all about!?" Zim said, wincing.

"Hey Zim!!" A voice snarled. Zim looked around to see Dib standing ten feet away, covered in food, his hand drawn back and filled with meat. He was panting, but also smiling maniacally. He didn't seem to notice any of the other kids. His eyes were locked on Zim and Zim alone.

Said alien swallowed and backed away, but he'd only gone a few steps when a wall stopped his progress.

"This is it, Zim," Dib panted, "I'm going to expose you for what you are right here and now!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Zim shouted at him. "Leave me alone!!" Dib smiled nastily and pulled his loaded arm back. Zim dug his claws into the wall behind him. "Don't!" he yelled. "Please!"

Dib froze and an expression of shock spread across his face. "W-what did you just say?" he said faintly.

"Er, 'I don't know what you're talking about'?"

"No, after that."

"'Leave me alone'?"

"AFTER THAT!"

Zim cowered. "Don't... please?" A confused frown spread over Dib's face. He didn't even notice when a clump of spinach hit his jacket.

"But," he murmured, "Why...?"

Suddenly the cafeteria doors opened so forcefully they were sent flying back against the walls. The noise was deafening, and all the children immediately froze and looked around.

Ms. Bitters stood framed in the doorway, black flames licking at her feet, looking evilly at the kids. "Who?" she whispered icily.

"THEM!" the kids screamed, all simultaneously pointing at Zim and Dib. Ms. Bitters bared her teeth and growled like a panther. She became a black blur and circled around Zim and Dib like a snake of doom. Then she towered above them both.

"You two," she hissed, "Will not leave this school until this entire cafeteria is clean!" She pulled a mop, a broom, and a bucket of water from out of nowhere behind her back. She flung them at the boys. The mop hit Zim in the face and the water from the bucket drenched Dib from head to toe. "And no playing around with each other!" she snapped. "If you do, you will both be sent to the Underground Classrooms of Doom!" With a final snake-like hiss, she slithered back to the doors. She glared at the kids and bared her teeth. They quickly lined up single file and marched hurriedly out the exit back to class. Ms. Bitters slammed the doors closed behind them...

...leaving Zim and Dib alone in the cafeteria.

* * *

Dokkou: Well well well... Am I the only one feeling all nostalgic from that food fight? Just like the good old days in the Invader Zim Pilot Episode, huh? :3

Oh crap... Dib and Zim are alone! And Dib's got a mop!! HE'S GOT A MOP!!What chaos will ensue!!

* * *


	3. Allies At Last

Dokkou: Chapter 3! yay! By the way, this is NOT going to be a ZADR. No no no no no!! :(

And sorry chapter 1 doesn't have a title... I ah... couldn't think of anything.

Thank you all so much for your reviews! I really appreciate them. Now then, on with the story!! (holds fist up dramatically)

* * *

Allies at Last

Zim and Dib glared at each other in stony silence.

"This is all your fault!" Zim snapped. "Why did you start that stupid food fight? Why won't you just leave me alone?"

"Stop saying that! It's getting old!" Dib shouted. "You know as well as I do that I'm here to stop your evil plans!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Zim screamed, clutching his head. He took a deep gulp of air and looked up coldly. He grabbed the broom and stormed to the other end of the cafeteria. "Whatever. Let's just get this mess cleaned up. And stay away from me!"

"Fine. But I'll be watching you, Zim." Zim scowled and stormed off, broom dragging on the floor behind him. He moodily began to sweep some creamed corn into a little pile.

Dib kept his word, and constantly sent suspicious looks at the Irken. He had right to be wary. The two were alone. It was the perfect opportunity for either of them to pull a sneak attack on the other. Dib wasn't willing to take the chance of stumbling into some alien trap.

After about ten minutes of silence and inactivity between the two, Dib decided to take his opportunity. He glanced at Zim and, seeing his back was turned, bent down and grabbed a half-eaten muffin. With a smirk he straightened and aimed at the alien. _Goodbye, Space Boy._

Zim had swept a large amount of food into a pile. Now he suddenly turned around and said, "Hey, Dib, give me that broom pan over— " He broke off upon seeing the pastry that was locked on him. For a long second, everything was still. Zim's face tightened. His fists clenched around the broom. He wanted to snap it in half.

"Why do you hate me so much?" he almost whispered. This low statement finally made Dib erupt.

"WHY?!" he shouted. "WHY?! **WHY** DO I HATE YOU?! BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN CAUSING ME TROUBLE FOR MONTHS!! BECAUSE YOU CONSTANTLY TRY TO KILL AND TRICK ME, AND BECAUSE YOU'RE AN EVIL ALIEN INVADER!! ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?!" he stood panting hard, his right eye twitching. The muffin had become nothing but a pile of crumbs in the vice grip of his hand.

"You really are crazy," Zim said, pulling a face. "I would never, NEVER try to kill someone, or cause grief for a person constantly, even if I hated them as much as I hate you."

"YOU!!" Dib shouted, "LITTLE, ANNOYING—" suddenly he stopped as a strange thought occurred to him. Why would Zim keep up this façade even when they were alone? And for so long? Something wasn't right…

"Hey," Dib said harshly, "you don't happen to remember Keef, do you?"

"What's a Keef?" Zim said blankly. "Is that some kind of meatloaf?" Dib frowned and put a hand to his chin.

"Okay, but you could still be lying!.. What about Pepe the hamster?"

"We have a hamster?" Zim frowned, cocking his head.

"We used to, before you blew him into space!"

Zim bared his zipper-like teeth. "I did not! I don't even remember a hamster!"

Fine. Here came the final test. If Zim's ego didn't get fired up over this…

"What about Tak?" said Dib shrewdly. "Remember her? The invader who was better than you?" Zim opened his mouth but no words came out. He blinked. He put a finger to his lip and thought.

"Tak?" he repeated. Dib nodded. "Wasn't she a foreign exchange student here for a while?" Dib's mouth fell open but no words came out. He pointed at Zim then his arm fell down. He began to pace back and forth across the linoleum floor, muttering and fiddling with his glasses. Zim watched him, not knowing what to think. He stood tensely and waited for something to happen.

At last Dib said in a weak voice, "You…don't remember? _Anything?"_

"I have no idea what you're blabbering about." Zim replied stiffly. Dib wrung his hands together, his mind racing.

"Do you remember what happened before you came to skool this morning?"

"Yeah," Zim said, "I woke up in some fun house that wasn't very fun. It was dark and full of wires and a creepy green monkey picture and a dog that turns into a robot!"

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" Dib said, his voice barely more than a whisper. Zim shrugged and shook his head. Dib bowed his head and stared at the floor, realization hitting him like a mallet.

Zim had lost his memory. It must have happened when the bio-bomb had self-destructed yesterday. After all, Dib hadn't seen the aliens leave after the explosion. The human boy's heart swelled.

This was it! This was it! _His chance!_ His opportunity sent from Heaven itself! If he could get Zim to his father, Professor Membrane, and take off his cruddy disguise, he could finally be proved right! He would finally get the recognition he deserved! He could finally—oh he was dizzy with the joy of his soon-to-be accomplishment!

"You're weird," Zim said. "I'm leaving. I'll risk the Underground Classrooms of Doom just to get away from you." Zim stiffly dropped the broom and walked around Dib (never coming closer than ten feet) and headed straight for the door. Dib's mind raced, and suddenly an idea hit him. Zim's hand was on the doorknob when suddenly…

"I'm sorry."

Zim blinked. He turned around and stared at Dib. "Huh?"

"I said I'm sorry," Dib mumbled, bowing his head. "I've…been acting really rotten to you lately. I guess I'm still mad at you for that horrible fight we had months ago. But I'm so tired of it!" he looked up with a determined look. "Zim, I'm sorry for everything that's been going on between us. I want us to stop fighting and become friends again!"

A train wreck screeched and exploded inside of Zim's brain. "Whaaaa?" was all he could think to stammer. "F-f-friends?"

"Yeah," Dib said earnestly. "You must remember that at least! A couple months ago we had a big fight, but before that, we were _best_ friends. We did everything together, and we had a lot of fun! But ever since that day…" he shook his head sadly. On the inside, he was squirming with self-revulsion.

Zim's hand slid off the doorknob. "What day?" he breathed.

"Um… the day that… uh… you threw that rabid squirrel at me as a joke. Obviously you didn't expect me to get really mad about it, but I did, and I poured a bucket of ink on you as revenge. Then it just went from one prank to another until our relationship turned into a war. But I'm so tired of hating you, Zim!" Dib gave a convincing sniff. "I've been really lonely since we had that fight, but I never told anyone, of course. I'm really sorry, buddy."

"Don't call me that!" Zim snapped, pointing at Dib. "I am no buddy of yours! Do you really expect me to just become your friend after everything you've _said_ to me? You keep calling me alien!"

"That's because you're from—ah—Sweden! Yeah! I never called you alien when we were friends."

"Well… you keep saying I'm in evil invader." With a scowl.

"I'm sorry about that too," Dib said sadly. "I've been a terrible person. And I can understand if you don't want to forgive me. Look um… you go ahead back to class. I'll just clean up this mess... All by myself... Alone." Dib turned and grabbed the mop with a distinct slump in his shoulders. He slowly began mopping up a scattering of peas. He was careful not to look at Zim, but his other senses were on high alert.

Zim leaned back against the cafeteria doors, staring at Dib. His face was completely blank. His mind was racing with a hundred thoughts at once, but only two really stood out:

Should I believe him?

Should I hate him?

Dib dumped a dustpan-full of mashed food into the trashcan and suddenly heard light footsteps behind him. He also heard some shuffling sounds then long, sweeping noises. He glanced over his shoulder.

Zim was standing five feet away, sweeping the floor with the broom. His head was bowed. Dib felt his heart flutter in triumph.

_Yes! _

He turned his head and focused on his cleaning. He would have to play this carefully, but he had the patience and cunning to do so. For ten minutes the two boys cleaned the cafeteria in silence, each lost in their own thoughts but still acutely aware of each other.

Dib dumped some more trash into the bin and stared upward. There was a clump of something green and sticky stuck to the ceiling.

"Ew," Dib couldn't help saying. He reached his mop up but he was several feet short. He jumped and waved the cleaning instrument around, but he still got nowhere close to the green gob. He scowled at it and drew the mop back, preparing to throw it. _Alright, blob. You want to play rough? I'll play rough… _

Dib was about to let the mop fly when a voice behind him said, "Hey, you um, need some help?" Dib looked over his shoulder to see Zim standing behind him, broom clutched in his hand like a staff. Dib's instincts were to snap questions at Zim's sudden consideration, but he contained himself.

"Uh yeah, help would be nice," he replied. Zim looked skyward at the green blob. His mouth moved over to one side as he thought.

"I have an idea."

* * *

Two minutes later, Zim was standing on Dib's shoulders, wobbling precariously. Dib had tight hold on the alien's ankles and his teeth were clenched with the effort of holding still. He still couldn't believe he was doing this.

"Almost got it," Zim said, reaching the mop up toward the ceiling. The edge just barely grazed the blob. Zim let out a growl of frustration. "Can't you be a little steadier than this?"

"Oh be quiet!" Dib snapped, trembling unsteadily. "I'm doing my best!" Zim waved the mop again and missed for the second time. "Okay, brace yourself," he called down, and violently shoved the mop up. It connected with the green blob and stuck there. Zim's movement had caught Dib by surprise, and he lost his balance. With synchronized yells the boys fell to the ground in a heap.

"Ow," Zim muttered, rubbing his head.

"Hey Zim?" Dib said thoughtfully, "Could you do me a favor and GET OFFA ME?!" Zim looked down to see that he was sitting on Dib's back. He started to stand up but jerked to a halt; his leg was stuck underneath Dib's stomach.

"Sure, as soon as you let me go," Zim snapped. Above them, the mop came unstuck with a sucking noise and fell to the ground. The green blob was dislodged and it sailed down and splattered all over the boys. They let out cries of disgust. Zim looked at Dib and Dib looked at Zim. They were covered in a coat of green jelly-like slime. A slow smile spread over Zim's face and suddenly he burst out laughing, causing Dib to lean away in alarm.

"I guess I really am alien scum now!" he cackled. Dib stared at him in speechless shock but seeing Zim laughing at himself eventually infected him and made him involuntarily giggle, which soon got as loud as Zim's laugh. For a long time the two could do nothing but sit and laugh at their miserable predicament, and they had absolutely no idea why. The whole concept was just strangely funny. Both of them were covered in slime and tangled together, but still they laughed.

And Dib noticed that Zim's voice had changed. His laugh wasn't maniacal and evil; it was a laugh of true joy and innocent happiness. A few minutes later, they ran out of breath and lay panting on the floor._ Maybe, _Dib thought, _maybe Zim really has changed._

Then Zim sat up and leaned back on his hands with a smile.

"Hey," he said to Dib. "I'm sorry too. For everything I said and did, especially that rabid squirrel I can't remember throwing at you. Friends?" He held out one of his black-gloved hand.

Dib stared at it for a long moment, his smile fading. Zim's hand only had three fingers, reminding Dib of what he really was-- an Irken alien invader bent on enslaving the human race. He thought back to his plan to expose Zim. The moment of innocent joy was over. Dib smiled back, but for a completely different reason. He grasped Zim's hand and shook it firmly.

"Friends."

* * *

Dokkou: Whooooaaa. How's that for a plot twist? Hmm... Poor Zim... he doesn't realize his first and only "friend" is planning his doom. But Zim has changed so much... is Dib really willing to keep doom in the little alien's future?

This chapter seems really short to me... I spent like an hour typing it though. That always surprises me. But it was good, right?

I's sorry if Zim or Dib seem OOC, I tried really hard to keep them in character, especially Dib. But Zim is sort of out-of-character because, well, he's changing! That's what the story is all about. I'll try to bring back his old personality in upcoming chapters, really i will. If you want me to.

* * *


	4. Into Zim's Base

Dokkou: Whoa... Dib and Zim friends?...

Yeah right!! HAHAHAAA!!

Chappie four! Yay! Here we go! hope you all like it. Thank you for your reviews.

* * *

Chapter 4: Into Zim's Base

"…Thus most of his men starved to death. Christopher was delirious and insane from hunger and he wasn't looking where he was going. The result was that he drove the ship onto a sandbar which turned out to be a continent. And that is how Christopher Columbus discovered the new world," Ms. Bitters growled to the students. The kids stared at her, wide-eyed and shuddering. One small boy raised his hand.

"Yes, Billy?" Ms. Bitters snapped.

"Um, are you sure Christopher Columbus was insane?" the boy asked, "because I read somewhere that he was actually looking for a route to…"

"Are you questioning the wisdom of the educational system?" Ms. Bitters snarled, black flames licking around her desk. The boy trembled and stammered, "Well, no, but—"

"There is no place for buts in this school!" Ms. Bitters spat. "Underground Classroom of Doom for you!" And she slammed a finger on a large red button on her desk. The floor fell open underneath Billy's desk and he fell into the black abyss with a terrified squeal.

"Does anyone else want to question the school material?" Ms. Bitters hissed. The students stared at her silently. The only noise was the dismal ticking of the clock on the wall. "Good," Ms. Bitters hissed. "Now open your textbooks to page one thousand two hundred eighty-three…"

She was cut off as the door to the classroom was flung open. She and the students looked around to see Dib and Zim walk in, side by side. Zim was in the middle of saying, "…and so the monkey said, 'That's no banana, that's my wife!!'" Zim burst out laughing and Dib chuckled weakly, blinked, then said, "I don't get it."

"Dib! Zim!" Ms. Bitters snapped. "Is that cafeteria clean?"

"Spotless, Ms. Bitters," Dib said, "In fact it's probably cleaner than—"

"Sit down!" the dark teacher spat at them, her forked snake-tongue darting out. Zim and Dib glanced each other then went to their respective desks at the opposite ends of the classroom. Ms. Bitters began a lecture on how the dodo bird became extinct due to horrible flaming deaths and soon the students began to space out. Dib tapped a pencil on his desk and stared blankly out the window, thinking. He had gotten Zim to accept him. If only he could get Zim over to his house and to his father, he would finally be able to prove—

A paper ball hit the back of his head. The pencil slipped out of Dib's hand as he turned his head with a scowl. Zim grinned and waved at him from the other end of the classroom. Dib's eyes strayed to the paper ball on his desk. He reached for it and quietly unfolded it to reveal a scribbled picture of him and Zim playing volleyball on a beach. Dib turned and forced a smile back at Zim. The alien beamed and looked back at Ms. Bitters.

Dib's smile slid off his face and he crumpled up the paper.

* * *

At long last the bell for the end of school rang. The students let out squeals of joy and ran out the door. Some kids, impatient with the holdup, climbed out the windows instead.

Dib padded out into the hallway and made his way out of the school. He hopped down the steps and took a deep breath of fresh air. Coming out of Ms. Bitters' classroom was like coming out of a graveyard. Dib headed down the sidewalk that led to his house. Once he got home, he could draw out some plans and talk to the Swollen Eyeball about revealing Zim. Maybe he would reveal the alien to the secret society instead of his father first; Professor Membrane would probably try to find some explanation for Zim's obvious differences instead of accept the fact that his son was right all along about aliens being real.

"Hey Dib! Dib! Wait up!" a familiar, eager voice said. Dib turned around to see Zim run up to him. He instinctively tensed for a moment then relaxed.

"Oh, hi Zim," Dib said, forcing a smile.

"Hey," Zim said, tapping his fingers together. He looked awkward. "Um, can I ask you for a favor?"

"What is it?" Dib asked. Zim's face turned upset.

"I uh…don't remember where I live." Dib stared at him. Zim gave an embarrassed smile.

"You live at that house with the lawn gnomes," Dib said. Zim's eyes widened in horror and he shook his head so fast it was a blur.

"No no no! I can't live there! It's full of freaky, creepy stuff and pictures of green monkeys and wires that look like they came out of an alien movie!"

"Zim," Dib sighed, "Don't be silly. Just go home and—" he broke off his eyes widening. Realization had just hit him like a semi-truck. If Zim wasn't home and he'd lost his memory, that meant his house was defenseless. That meant Dib could just walk in with a video camera and take as many pictures as he wanted!! He could take some of the alien technology back with him! He could bring members of the Swollen Eyeball straight to an alien base!! This was perfect!! THANK YOU GOD!!

Zim tilted his head and poked Dib's shoulder.

"Dib?" he said worriedly. "Are you uh, okay?"

"Ha? Wha?" Dib said, shaking his head.

"You were spacing out there and rubbing your hands together and laughing. What was so funny?"

"Oh it was nothing. Say, how about I go to your house with you and take away all that creepy stuff you were talking about?"

Zim's eyes lit up and he clapped his hands together. "You'd really do that for me? Wow thank you! You're such a great friend! I can't believe we had such a huge fight!"

"Yeah yeah, hard to believe," Dib said, grabbing Zim's wrist and pulling him down the sidewalk. "Let's go."

"Where do you think you're going, Dib?" A familiar growl said behind the boys. Dib screeched to a halt and Zim bumped into him, almost sending them both on the ground. Dib looked around to see Gaz staring at him, tight-mouthed and frosty.

"Oh I'm just gonna walk Zim home!" Dib said cheerfully. One of Gaz's eyebrows went up.

"Why would you do that?" she said. "You hate Zim—" she was cut off when Dib zoomed over and slapped his hand over her mouth.

"Haha ha!" he laughed forcefully as Zim frowned slightly, "What a kidder! That's my little sis!" He gave Gaz a noogie.

Zim winced and closed his eyes so he didn't see the horrible pain Gaz put her older brother through, but he still heard the screams. When they stopped he tentatively took one hand off his eye and peeked at Dib.

The poor boy was twisted like a pretzel on the ground, his glasses cracked and his jacket ripped. Gaz was storming away, a black thundercloud hovering over her head and shocking anyone who got too close to her with lightning. Zim helped Dib untwist himself and stand up.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Fine," Dib said, dusting himself off. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a perfect pair of clean glasses and put them on. He took his jacket off, turned it inside out and put it back on. He looked like absolutely nothing had happened. Zim looked at him blankly as Dib once again grabbed his wrist and towed him down the sidewalk.

"I take it that happens a lot to you?" the alien said dryly.

"All the time," Dib said brightly. "Now come on, we're almost there!"

* * *

Zim and Dib stared at the tall green house before them in silence. It certainly didn't look dangerous, just weird. The lawn was covered in plastic flamingoes and creepy lawn gnomes. Zim hid behind Dib and shuddered. Dib was holding a small portable video camera which he always kept in his pocket. He held it up to his eye and the screen filled with the image of the house.

"Okay, here we go," he said and started to walk onto the path.

"Wait!" Zim said fearfully. "Are you, uh, sure about?..."

Dib swung the camera around so that Zim's uneasy expression filled the screen. "Don't worry," he said reassuringly. "I've been here tons of times! You know, to um, play with you!"

Zim bit his lip and wrung his hands as he stared at the house. "Oh come on," Dib said, stepping forward, grabbed Zim's wrist and towing him down the path.

They made it to the door without incident. Dib's camera was pointed at the entrance, which looked like the door that led to the men's restroom. In a dramatic voice he said, "Here I stand, on the threshold of discovery. At long last, I am going to explore the mysteries which I have so long been pursuing! How cool is this?" The camera wobbled as Zim pulled on Dib's jacket sleeve.

"They're watching us," Zim hissed. Dib looked over his shoulder at the lawn gnomes. Their heads had turned and they were staring at the two intruders silently.

"Yeah they do that sometimes," Dib said, and reached for the doorknob. He pushed the door inward and two figures appeared. Zim screeched and hid behind Dib.

"Welcome home, son!" the two robots said in synchronization. Then they wheeled backward and disappeared into the shadows of the house.

"What was that?" Zim cried, looking over Dib's shoulder.

"Nothing to worry about," Dib said, adjusting the lighting on his camera. He stepped inside and couldn't stop a grin from spreading over his face.

They were in the living room. The ceiling was covered in purple wires and the wallpaper had tiny pictures of UFOs on it.

"This is so great!" Dib squealed, spinning the camera around. "Finally a chance to film completely undisturbed!"

"Dib!" Zim said in a panicky voice. Dib felt himself being pulled backward toward the door.

"Hey let go!" he exclaimed. Zim pointed at something and Dib looked around.

A small green dog was sitting on the sofa, staring at the giant TV, on which was a commercial about spinal cream.

"Gir," Zim whispered. "That's the robot dog."

"Don't worry about him," Dib said. "He's no threat."

"But… he's a robot! He doesn't look like one because he's got that costume on!"

"I know, Zim," Dib said, rolling his eyes. "Just ignore him and he'll ignore you."

Suddenly Gir looked around and seemed to notice the two boys for the first time. He started jumping up and down on the couch happily.

"Master! Master! You're back!"

"No! No I'm not!" Zim cried, "I'm far away! I mean, I'm not your master!"

With a joyous squeal, Gir leaped forward and hugged Zim's ankles. Zim screamed, lost his balance and landed right on top of the SIR unit, which promptly began to lick his face.

"DIB! Help me!" Zim shouted, pushing back on Gir's wide-open upper and lower jaws.

"That's nice, Zim," Dib said, not taking his camera away from the cluster of alien wires under a sofa cushion. Zim finally managed to stand up and he grabbed the TV remote. He waved it over his head. Gir's ears perked up and his huge eyes watched the remote attentively.

"Go fetch!" Zim shouted, and threw the remote with all his strength across the room. Gir screeched and zoomed after the remote. Zim immediately ran in the opposite direction, grabbed Dib's arm, and raced into the kitchen. He hid beside the doorway, panting hard.

"Good idea!" Dib said, filming the room. "I bet there's a lot of alien stuff in here!"

"What?" Zim said blankly.

"Uh, nothing. Hey, why is there a toilet next to the fridge?"

Zim cautiously went to stand beside Dib, who was pointing the camera at a toilet which was sitting complacently out in the open.

"Maybe it's just for decoration?" Zim suggested. He reached out and pushed down on the flusher. The water swirled around within the bowl and Zim felt an odd pull. The pull increased and a moment later he realized that the toilet was sucking them into the bowl. Zim and Dib tried to back away but the force was too strong, and a second later they were both sucked, screaming, into the depths of the toilet.

Zim opened his eyes and realized something was pinning him down. Red light was shining all around him and he felt the sensation of going downward.

"Get off!" he shouted, and Dib obligingly rolled off of him. The two stood up in what appeared to be a clear plastic tube.

"We're in the elevator!" Dib said excitedly, whirling the camera around. "We must be going down to the lab!"

"Lab?" Zim repeated uneasily. "What lab?" he got his answer a moment later when the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. Dib and Zim stepped out into a futuristic Frankenstein lab. Wires, generators, buttons, tubes and computers covered every inch of the small room's walls and ceiling. There was a steel table in the middle of the room.

"The inner workings of the lab," Dib cackled. "At last I've made it!" Suddenly Zim's angry face filled the camera's view screen.

"Will you stop treating this like some alien safari?!" Zim screeched, shaking the front of the camera. "This is serious! Maybe this is some kind of top secret military base or something!! We could get in big trouble! We're trespassing!"

"TRESPASSING," a new, computerized voice reverberated around them. "INTRUDERS DETECTED. INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!"

Dib and Zim stood back to back in surpise as multicolored lights went off around them and sirens wailed. "SECURITY MEASURES INITIATED!" the computer growled, and suddenly two metal robotic arms stretched out of the wall and grabbed Dib and Zim around the waist. They struggled but it was no use. They were pulled upward to the ceiling at a terrifyingly fast rate and as they went, Dib's arm bumped into a protruding tube and the camera fell out of his hand.

"No!" he cried. "My camera!" he watched in horror as the little electronic fell to the ground twenty feet below them and explode in a burst of sparks and shrapnel. Then he saw nothing as he was thrust into a dark tube and was sucked upward. He spun and twisted and got sickeningly dizzy for a minute before he was enveloped in a bust of light and flung bodily into the outside air. He screamed, which was immediately cut off when he landed hard on the concrete outside of the house. His trembling arms started to push him up when he heard another shout and a weight slammed down on top of him. He groaned in pain.

"Ow," Zim moaned. "That hurt. Dib? You okay?"

"Mmmmph," Dib said in agony. Zim gasped and quickly got off of the human boy. Dib painfully got to his feet and stared at his empty hands in horror.

"My camera!" he wailed, sinking to his knees. "My movie! MY PROOF!! GONE! NOOOOO!!" He pounded on the ground with his fists, screaming in failure. Zim was staring at the house. Metal panels slid down and covered the walls and windows until, a minute later, the building looked like an impenetrable metal fortress of doom.

A second before a panel slid down the window, Gir popped his green dog head up and waved at Zim and Dib, TV remote in his mouth. Then the metal covered the window with a dull boom.

"Now what?" Zim said in a hollow voice. Dib straightened and stood beside him.

"I don't know about you, but I'm going home," he said tiredly. He turned and dragged his feet down the sidewalk, head hanging.

"Hey Dib? Wait! I… I don't know where to go now!" Zim ran up and easily kept pace with the depressed human boy. "I was wondering," he went on carefully, tapping his fingers together. "Maybe, um, maybe I could spend the night at your house? Until I figure out what to do next?"

"Are you crazy?!" Dib snapped. "There is no way you are staying at—" he stopped as the cogs and gears in his head began to whirl. An evil smile spread over his face which then turned sweet.

"Sure, Zim. You can spend the night at my place tonight. I have some friends I want you to meet." And he grabbed Zim's wrist and pulled him away down the sidewalk.

* * *

Dokkou: Another plot foiled. Darn. But Zim is spending the night at Dib's HOUSE! How can Dib NOT expose him now?

And just because Zim is staying at Dib's house does NOT mean that it's going to be a ZADR you yaoi pervs!!

* * *


End file.
